Feb 27, 2012

it's decided then.

advertising it is. 

"when the going gets tough, the tough gets going!"

Feb 26, 2012

tunes nowadays.

my research topic is on "social media and youth interest in current events". It was a topic that i mumbled off my head after the lecturer demanded one from me. But weirdly, how much it resonated with me.

was been a subject of much contention among my friends studying overseas. siau li, in particular. she was the one who put it to light. exactly what had been bugging me every time i logged in facebook. there is something wrong with malaysian youths. the problem which became painfully clear in the eyes of friends who had been exposed to a wholly different environment and immediately noticed what was lacking here. or what was too much. the trouble, lies in the malaysian youth's amazing ability to accept wholeheartedly whatever is the topic on facebook and share it with crazed zest, without even digesting the information for themselves. Take, for example. the Bersih 2.0 movement. the movement for a corrupt-free country and transparent electoral process is all very good, but as the campaign went viral, i realized that quite a number of people started to share the any freaking yellow thing on facebook without thinking twice.

And most recently, the Lynas issue. It is a good thing that these campaigns on facebook do raise a certain degree of awareness regarding current issues, but it is yet another sad phenomena to see so many youths eagerly trying to be 'politically-conscious' without a mind to call their own. It is the very gullibility and  unfiltered acceptance of messages that resulted in this today. accused of falling prey to political gimmicks of the power hungry.

"whatever statement that someone said that seems kinda right, so it must be right."

where is the ... critical thinking?

damn i used to take critical thinking as a soft skill a couple of semesters ago. thought that it was common sense and no one needed it. the way things are going, turns out that we do need it after all. dear youths of malaysia, dear youths of my generation,  dear people. turn on the filter function, please? Being aware is one thing, being active is another. Do be active with a responsibility to yourself and the society. The first step being educating yourself before you do anything that might potentially show you for who you really are. Trust me, we don't want to know.

Awareness of issues facing our nation and our world is a good thing, don't get me wrong. Just digest the information and have a balanced diet of stories from both sides before spewing one-sided theories.

and don't get me started on the Black March thing. another video on facebook. with the tagline "Do not buy a single record. Do not download a single song, legally or illegally. Do not go to see a single film in cinemas, or download a copy, Do not buy a DVD in the stores. Do not buy a videogame. Do not buy a single book or magazine. #OpBlackMarch"
you can watch the video here if you want.

hahaha. what do YOU think?

it doesn't matter.

amidst all the stress and emotions i've been facing lately, it's always a reason to celebrate whenever i get home.
the word to use for it would be.... "escape".
a time to unwind. and sleep early. and disconnect. and deplete the food storage. 
sometimes i wonder why i do the things that i do. which is a useless exercise on its own because i refuse to recognize the real reason behind my actions. revealing them would be too painful. and ugly. and excruciating.

time to take myself less seriously. 


anyway. life at home is kinda less serious. as normal as it gets. as irresponsible as it gets. 
and lazing a sunday afternoon away on the laptop with 30% assignment and 70% procrastination on fug nation is already the best there is. given my current condition. and how did it get better? it appears that there is a way. my permanently-blocked nose decided to be on its best behaviour this afternoon, allowing my favourite smell in the world to register in the brain. it took seconds, yes, but at least i became aware of it!

a moment of real happiness when the mental picture of mom making coffee appears in my mind. heheh
with coffee-maniac parents, it is hard not to be reminded of your favourite beverage. 

tea time!

a Western meal made the more appealing through words by Enid Blyton. Her books have inspired countless Malaysian kids, i tell you. Jam spread thickly on slices of bread, butter scraped over thin pieces of toast, not to mention "scones", that magic word Blyton seems to be so fond of. but i tried it. not to my taste. anyway, teatime has become just another reason for me to snack and fulfil my everlasting hunger pangs. bread and butter is such a luxurious commodity for a hostel-bound student without the very basic appliance of a fridge. might as well devour them while i can. and cheese! don't get me started on those comforting slices of heaven with a tinge of saltiness. 

haha i'm aware of my excessive use of bombastic words but anything, anything at all to get away from the real task that awaits--- packing, and getting to the five assignments fighting for my attention. "listen kids, i'll be right back with you, in 2 seconds, give mommy two seconds!"

urh. attention seeking horrors, assignments are. doesn't matter. 

so many birthdays and farewells and funerals and newborns and anniversaries. 

life goes on. 


Feb 22, 2012

Why did you put them on this morning?

yello! it's been quuite some time since i last updated my blog. always disliked those people who apologized for 'lack of updates' at the beginning of every post, but here i am, hypocrite extraordinaire, doing the same old thing. hahah. not quite sure what to blog about these days. without the help of helpful memes from Quaintly's old blog, i have nothing to help me when writer's block attacks. so here goes, a random compilation of thoughts and happenings in my uninteresting life:

1. finally my wisdom shows by the swollen fat gums of a baby wisdom tooth poking its head out. so far the side effects include being unable to open my jaws big enough for a tablespoon, unable to chew any solid food and can't yawn properly. That's bad news for a major yawner like me. No fear! I'm still chomping on all foods available. pain is nothing to me. *deeeep breaths*

2. kinda addicted to jogging lately. let's hope this works out. 

3. it was a bright and lovely morning. I finally managed to drag myself up for 8am class. It was wednesday. And the lecturer demanded that we submit assignment 2 & 3 on friday. such a lovely thing to do!

4. Went for Ghost Rider on Saturday night with daniel, evelyn, janvy and rufus. nicholas cage was nice, but the flaming skeleton who tried to act wasn't. do not waste your moneh. 

5. Actually loads more happened. but i can't bring myself to remember. Lack of sleep does this to you. waking up at 8am for 2 consecutive mornings have taken their toll on me. The brain doesn't work. and never will. have fun while i take a nap again! 

fat. and sleepy.

Feb 16, 2012


4 days before Valentine's, I received the news of my headmistress's passing in the very cold and clumsy form of a sms. I couldn't quite identify what is the feeling within my gut when the realization sank in. A woman who had stood in front of the whole school giving speeches every Tuesday morning, a woman with a permanent kindly smile on her face, a woman who (patrol is not the word) strolls the corridors of the school, peeking in on the students, and letting the matter pass in good sport even though the student might not be paying attention, a woman who did everything with students in mind, a woman, not strikingly beautiful, with frizzy hair, with thick ankles and a conservative sense of fashion, a woman, who dedicated 40 years of her life to education.

Chinese education in Malaysia, is a difficult task indeed. Turns out that back then they still attend school even when the place is flooded. Given the battle that the older generation fought for the basic right of education in our mother tongue which is still ongoing today, i have to take my hat off to this woman. Being the ignorant and selfish brat that most adolescents were, I have never given much thought to my headmistress's story. Where did she come from? What was her favorite color? What schools she taught at before coming to my school? After her passing, I found out that she was part of the movement for the rights of chinese education, became the headmistress of my school when she was 28 years old. And never left since.

My most memorable and (sad to say, shameful) encounter with her was when I'm Form 4. Being the rebellious ah lian back then, I always left a few strands of hair framing my face, which was against the rules. So i was hanging out with a bunch of band mates in the school cafeteria, when she came up right behind my and tugged at my hair, quite strongly in fact. I was offended yet i didn't know who was doing that to me. loudly i demanded, "who is that?"and herng who was sitting opposite (who obviously knew who was tugging at my hair) gave a very comical expression and said in a very not serious way :"it's the headmistress!". and i didn't believe him.

famous last words.

so i just said some swear words loudly and swung right around to face this annoying hair-tugging person.


thinking back, i do hate myself for doing that.

of course i shut up right after that and listened to her tirade against ah lian hairstyles.


it's hard not to love someone who loves your school so much. news of her passing sent staggering waves through the 40 years of hin hua alumni. And for a week after that, all i could see on facebook (apart from declarations of love for valentine's) is of the headmistress of hin hua high school, Chang Sa Yeok. When my friends heard news of this, they just exclaimed that it is totally a reason for celebration, and we should be happy about it. wtf. i can't put my finger on the exact reason why did this affect all of us so much. friends were crying and lamenting and wanting to purchase air tickets back to attend her funeral. onlookers might comment on the unbelievability of it all. Is there a need to be so affected by someone who droned on for hours in the assembly every week? It's not just that. Here is someone that we truly love and respect. If not for an important presentation on the very day itself, i would have returned home just to attend her funeral. In my high school band days, sometimes the band is required to march for funeral processions. I've always considered it a horrible waste of time. Sweating in the thick uniform in the sweltering weather, maintaining a disciplined posture at all times... .. truly a test for one's patience and stamina. would've refused it if it weren't for the valid reason to skip classes. A waste of time indeed. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be part of the band for the funeral procession so badly. I envy my juniors.

i give up trying to explain this. i guess xue jiun summed it up pretty well:


2004087, my final tribute. 

rest in peace.

Feb 2, 2012



it's mutual then. now i know how they come up with lyrics. 

Feb 1, 2012

hop hop limp.

hello! me just back from a Proper Decent Gigamegablastic CNY dinner at Marche with the VIPs! [definition of VIP: not a stranger, no lurker, and not a random dude.] megablastic indeed :D 
gonna regret the accumulated fats tho. 
Christmas came early! 11 months early, in fact. First I want to express my gratitude towards our dear Prime Minister for coming up with the idea of 1 Malaysia Book Vouchers for tertiary students. HEHEHE. very kiasu after finding out about this: 
Anyway according to eu jeen it's rm150 worth of vouchers, not rm100 like the poster said. but so many choices! just realized how big Borders is. the choices of books there were wayy more extensive than Popular too! but Borders doesn't have books by Ursula Le Guin in stock. too bad :S finally to try out books by Philip Pullman since it has always been reviewed highly, got the trilogy of His Dark Materials. hope it doesn't disappoint :D then chose a random pulitzer prize winning fiction by Jennifer Egan. I'm not very good at choosing books, mostly depending on reviews by others(I'm a fan of The Star's weekly book columnist Daphne Lee) and works by famous authors that i somehow took the courage to try out. Or perhaps just through word of mouth. but having friends who read voraciously are few and far between, so it's quite a solo adventure so far. so we were on the way to the Curve today and the topic turned to books. I'm really stoked to find out that i do actually have friends who love to read in uni! heheh. i've already knew that suzian likes to read la, but nico and bala? woots! 

For quite sometime, perhaps due to peer pressure or something, I've given up the habit of reading in public, preferring to keep it an activity for quiet afternoons. too many a time i'm reading and someone asks:"U reading ah?" or commenting: "Wah why you so hardworking?". it's a relaxing hobby, remember? hmmph. so anyway i kind of stopped bringing books out with me wherever I go, but one day on the bus to a volleyball tournament, i saw suzian pull out a book by Jodi Picoult! that reminded me of all things i've lost and missed just through this simple act. sometimes, staring out the window and listening to music just doesn't cut it. will membaca more. owh by the way i also bought The Hobbit! actually i got it years ago but someone who borrowed it from me lost it :(  i think i lost a few books the same way too. but missed The Hobbit dearly, so re-buying it was a great decision! profuse thanks to our dear minister again! 

still haz rm50 of the vouchers left. still considering buying the last book in the Inheritance trilogy or the LOTR complete set. or just splurging on moleskine planners. we shall seee. 

a couple moar random photos of what i've been up to lately :D 
luckily i've never considered architecture as a course. Who knew that architecture students have to go through so much shit to emerge on top? drawing 1024 lines without breaks with differing thicknesses on a piece of A4 paper every week? no thanks. now i see architecture students with new respect @.@ went with miao to draw houses freehand with the above graph thing. 

3 of the persons in my list of People I Hold Dear. 
CNY reunion dinners :)  
 POCKY! tenkew Gemma for them all the way from Nanjing :D how did you know i have perpetual cravings for them??? 
current addiction. Mainly due to the promise of Vitamin C's whitening properties. 
nothing spells Chinese New Year more than Pineapple tarts. these are really melt-in-the-mouth yummeh. 
Mass Comm Gathering Night iz tomorrow! Funny Hats is the theme this time round. heheh. going as dragon. 
Just as i was starting my scar-reducing regime, new wound! GAH. it's been at least 8 years since my knees were hurt. and hello 2012. don't worry i didn't fall flat on my face, just a slight bump on the volleyball court and voila! those cement courts were no joke. and it kept 'leaking juice' for hoursss. annoying things they were. stop bloody bleeding! 

to end my post on a happy note, 

 HAHA. can't wait to start devouring them. don't blame me if i MIA for a few days. books have an attraction that iz much more than facebook.

oh no we're NOT going there. no way.