Dec 29, 2011

from bullets to bandages

it takes certain incidents to jolt you awake and take a look at what really matters. for the whole day i had been hankering after 'sherlock holmes--a game of shadows'. wanted to watch it for such a long time and it had been my fault for not going out with them when they asked me along. so now i'm left high and dry without anyone to watch it with and i absolutely (i repeat, absolutely) refuse to watch movies alone. i'm asian and proudly belong to a collective society and i am constantly in craving of human company especially in movies where i need someone to dispense my commentary upon heheh.
i know that i shouldn't be so.. disappointed when everyone else i know here are busy with their own lives and i was lifelessly on facebook waiting for someone to poach and drag to the movies with me. forgive my desperateness but it had been months since i last stepped into the cinema and i needed that dark claustrophobic space with too loud music and terrible popcorn badly.
i am aware that i shouldn't be so... dissatisfied with the mere lack of movies since there are wayy more unfortunate beings in this dreary world who are worrying about their next meal or where they gonna sleep. but still.
and with my phone kidnapped by grace who was out ice-skating, i had no idea how to contact those friends who presumably appear offline on facebook. so, i finally gave up facebooking after getting my face splashed with cold water from my many friends who have much better things in their life to do than go watch sherlock holmes with me.
i decided to get a life, have breakfast, and read a book. heheh. midway through my book, the theory of :"when you stop wanting something, you get it" became true. shing yi actually called me at home, (miracles of miracles! since no one actually calls for me at home) and got me out for  movies yeeeah! but pyramid was stuffed full when we got there, the line for movie tickets was at least 100 metres long. malaysians y u chose today to watch movies? so we had to postpone the movie to another day sadly and went for lunch. but me no give up and finally we went to another cinema in the night so finally i get to watch my precious holmes hehehe.
anyway, grace told mom that she's staying over at sukkie's house for the night so i had no qualms about my younger sister staying over at a friend's house albeit it was kinda last minute news and left me with no phone for another day.
maybe it was the books i had been reading. those books which describe kidnappings in detail and how those corpses look like abandoned in cars and how the families hurt for ages... ... its always what you have been exposed to in recent times that tend to leap out when something happens. normal, i guess. like a doctor who had been reading up on rare disease X will tend to diagnose the patient correctly with rare disease X. the patient who had went to countless doctors who failed to give the correct prognosis and was on the verge on giving up.
my imagination went into overdrive and those scary descriptions in recent books i read didn't help in that situation either. neither did my elder sis who mumbled that she had no idea where is my younger sis and i should call my phone to find out. sleepy people are always useless. me in sleeping state can testify to that. how can it be that my sister who proclaimed to be at sukkie's house yet sukkie asked me where is grace? and why is my phone dead when i called it?

countless scenarios.
earnest prayers.
lots of muttered swearing.
heart petrified.
quickened breathing.
sick. with worry.
trying to have faith in God.
hoping nothing was wrong.

and finally rewarded with a 'LOL WHY SO SERIOUS'.

maybe it was the LOL who did it.
or those capital letters shouting at me.
or the relief of finding out that the baby sister was indeed safe.
or i'd been taken in.

you do realize that this wasn't something that can be treated as a joke, right?

i've always read the story of 'the boy who cried wolf' with a quiet horror. of the coldness human beings are capable of. did you ever imagine what happened the morning after the third time the boy cried wolf? imagine the regret, the realization that something very wrong has happened, and who had stood by and let it happen? is the boy's mischievousness justifiable for his death while the villagers had ignored it in cold blood? maybe i'm a freak, but i did not want to end up like the villagers, having to account for their actions. nothing, nothing can justify their actions. they might live in guilt their whole lives. i do not want to end up someone like that. that story has always been a warning for me. not the kid raising the false alarm, but the villagers who had become lazy. i don't agree with the theory that worry of being tricked is reason enough to ignore pleas for help. it does not give you permission to join the darker side. that's just a lazy person talking. so you let the fire die in you, after 2 measly times of being extinguished. is that all you have? aren't you a stronger person who can withstand waves of challenges? don't give up, whatever happens.

and dear boys who cried wolf out there, stop being stupid. you proved nothing.

i'm not sure why i'm so touchy about the subject. i don't think anyone likes it when played for a fool, and especially on someone i truly care about. i have often wondered what my reaction would be if a family member died (forgive my gruesomeness) but i'm unable to come up with a proper reaction. then comes the question of 'am i that friking cold-blooded?'. ha ha. so tonight something of that scenario has happened(albeit a fake one) and i'm relieved to say that i have feelings like everyone else.

whatever truly matters.

movies? popcorn? having fun?

measly in comparison.

i'm wide awake.

Dec 24, 2011


it's officially Christmas! happy birthday to keith too! may you continue to grow in Christ and get better at your drumms. so sad that you guys can't be with us tonight. celebrated christmas at church as always with a Christmas service and dinner. spent the time playing games and making balloon sculptures for the kids. I MUST MUST MUST remember to save more moneh to buy presents for everyone next year. MUST. hilarious present highlights: chiyan's paper  canon 600D, and grace's giving out McD chili sauce left and right. since some photos are already up on fb, shall post em' here hehehe. (the life of a blogger without a camera T.T reduced to stealing photos off facebook. how sad iz that)

CAMP 2 of the month: sometimes i think my youth haz the awesomest camps ever. like seriously. (forgive my misuse of the word but that's like the only word i can use to describe the camp) i'm really glad for making it to the camp cause initially there's no transport and i'd be going a day later but then God arranged Rach's finals to end on tuesday too so all iz well and we made it on the second day. AND HAD LOADSS OF FUN. must have another camp next year.  
cap'n Jack Sparrow at your service. with sidekicks Lotso & Bat Aunty.
 borrowed the Pirate Hat from Shugan, white shirt from mom, vest from Zara, leather belt from Padini rm5 sale HAHAHA and random black shorts. also i wore rubber boots cause no way i can wear leather boots at the mud in Broga. owh and massive amounts of eyeliner from the Bat Aunty! didn't really plan for the outfit though, just pieced everything together from my existing wardrobe. also, i had to pucker my lips the whole night to create that Jack Sparrow's thin-faced look. my normal round face can't achieve his expression. too bad i didn't pay much attention to his gait in the movies, would've been a much more convincing Captain. oh wells, next time then!
chiii yaaaan! beloved fellow Mark member. we made it through oh yeah.
taken before group photo session i think. paiseh ah no photos of those extreme games .. yet. 
self-explanatory lol. 
nice to meetcha, mr. red. was kinda skeptical when they planned the costume Night of Heroes & Villains in the camp itinerary. We Malaysians wouldn't really dress up for the event, right?? haha but everyone proved me wrong when the excitement built up over the weeks to the camp and they started discussing and planning their outfits in earnest. good job, guys! :D
bersemangatly made christmas x birthday cupcakes for eunice! the icing was too watery. i think. 
day of shopping with the freeks. started loving chunky jewelry after reading Julia's blog. make or break an outfit indeed.  
antipodean. Banana bread with cream cheese and honey, I SHALL HUNT YOU DOWN. SOMEDAY.

kiwi lamb burger. yums. 

2011 is drawing to a close, and hugely enjoying my semester break so far. camps, outings, lots of catching up to do. the picture above is self-explanatory too. didn't realize that i had been cooped up in a cave and stressed to the max. breathing has gotten easier, the air has gotten sweeter, the bed is softer lol. heading to leaders' retreat tomorrow morning! can't wait for the cold air to hit my lungs. before checking in the hotel, dad has huge plans to visit the durian orchard hahaha. hope my sore throat gets well soon. so many durians waiting for me yet i can't taste em', what a waste and insult to the king of fruits!

may the next remaining 2 weeks to my semester break be as lovely as possible. gonna have an offline lifestyle so see u guys 3 days later! 

Dec 19, 2011

1 hour and 22 minutes to go

didn't really have the mood to blog, but now sitting alone in a cafe waiting for rachel to finish her exams so that we can go broga for youth camp together :D life at UTAR seems alright, isn't as congested as i thought, perhaps its the finals? had been MIA-ing for quite awhile. life during finals was terrible, and straight after that was a flurry of stuff (grace's birthday, this and that, OA camp, youth camp, leaders' retreat camp, not to mention CHRISTMAS!) so not gonna online that much. better update something in this blog before it goes to the dogs. 

just realised that i have looads of red stuff in my wardrobe. CNY iz coming :D love my red ballet flats (only rm10!)
how long has it been since you last used a public pay phone? found this at my hostel block. i don't think i've ever seen anyone using that phone there. its now more like a ... shelf. 
decided to take the cutout of cedric everywhere. cedric's an exchange student from france who came to inti for the semester and joined volleyball club. have a safe flight and see you in paris! :)
ais-kacang never goes wrong.  
can't resist half boiled eggs in noodles. with spicy sambal. every time. 
spelling hedghog with a "K"! WAHAHAHA
go get your subway calendar with any purchase of rm30 and above! year-long vouchers to fulfill your subway cravings :D 
decided to get myself a clock for my room at inti. IKEA clocks are so freaking cheap. rm2 per clock i think. but look too plain lah. hehe so here goes project clock redesign!
the end product. haven't bought batteries for it yet.

OA camp. we haf much to learn. 
Got this from the faci's present exchange! first christmas gift of the year :D wanted to get cookies as my gift initially, but finally decided on a cheese spray instead. Daniel got it too, glad you like it! (AND TENKEW ENTHEL FOR DA COOKIES WAHAHAHA HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANT ONE)
lepaking around still waiting for rachel to finish her finals. another hour to go.

had a hectic week indeed. straight after exams started work on the OA camp stuff, everything came so last minute, had to organize cedric's farewell too. after that rushed home for grace's birthday to give her a surprise. i'm kinda shocked that she cried when she saw me! cause i thought that i can't make it home for her birthday, and told her so the week before. so i guess my surprise appearance came as a .. surprise. HAHA. first time i made someone cry of.. happiness? anyway have fun and happy birthday again dear sis! after finally finishing the name tags for the camp, slept for 2 hours and had to rush back to nilai for the camp. only slept 7 hours during the whole camp. in 3 days!

conclusion: AM FATIGUED. haven't went christmas shopping yet. and its already 20th. will come home on 22nd. only left 23rd to ... rest? or go shop? 24th will be church's christmas celebration and then we leave for genting on christmas itself. there goes the rest of 2011. see u guys next year!

owh and watch this! Harry says merry Christmas with his cousins!

Dec 10, 2011

travel fever...

realised that i do like to blog under pressure. or stress. or just wanna find something else to do, other than studying. finals. almost panic mode. says to heart: "all iz well... all iz well...."

anyway, forgot to blog about the penang and ipoh road trip last mid-term break! forgive me for my travel fever. you know how psychologists will ask you to close your eyes and imagine a safe and warm and lovely place? for me, travelling is that place hahah. so now im under extreme stress, of course will think about penang lah! not penang la, basically.... travelling. T.T The sun, the car, the friends, the flip flops.... hehe. 

so. we went on a random road trip. the day before they went to visit sandra in malacca (also pick her up), then after they came to pick me and continued on our way up north :D so for me thats when the trip really started~ 

first stop. shaarmen's hometown----- IPOH! i called Jason the first thing we reached, and he said: "you know what? we are heading to setiawan for seafood right this minute." =.=

man do college students love their food or what. 

below pictures all by lame blackberry cameras. we didn't have a camera with us for the whole trip. D:
Foh San.
thick-skinned dimsums..
pretty looking milk almond pudding.
the only good point of Foh San is that they kinda come up with lots of innovative stuff. new foods, so to say.
but this didn't really work for me. 
deepavali dishes. see no cutlery! my first time eating with fingers. fail malaysian. 
floe, sandra, and the host! (who brought us to that bad dimsum place) lucky for you that your mom cooks great food :D

then Gilbert came:
he bought us to another makan place. 'big tree' i think. too bad we're wayy too full with ipoh tau foo fah by that time, couldn't eat the famous food there. we had cendol though. not bad :DD

finally shaarmen couldn't resist and decided to come along penang with us. so we went back to his house, packed, and yeshhh we have another driver!
which leaves me with lots of time to camwhore. (i like that hat. it hides my roots.)

Ipoh is a pretty place. should have a trip dedicated to it soon, not as a rest-stop to penang. 

the gps decided to throw a tantrum and we lost our way :( after hours in the rain and the traffic jam.. we managed to reach the hotel. Heritage 1926 i think. clean place. cheap too. alright for backpackers.
complete with creepy hallways.
and here's viiter~
he's on internship, so its been awhile since we met up :( its raining, so no hawker food for us. this place is.. James Foo Western. i think. we hated that place cause we kept driving past it in circles when we got lost earlier. hahah. nice western food, steaks and all. 

the anti-social blackberry users with my fish.
to straits quay!
Berlin Bierhouse. cheers!
this is not a rigged photo. floe managed to achieve this impossibility in her beer fog. had fun with viiter's friends. we lost to them in pool AND in darts. freaking sad. so had to crawl under the pool table as punishment. i hope those videos don't find their way on facebook.

Day 2:
cheese ice cream.

since none of us really knew where to go and no native penangites can bring us about, we had to wander around senselessly. finally headed to Queensbay Mall. to a shopping centre. in penang. of all places :(  also frantically planning floe's birthday the whole day. 

finally, we went to a 'penang place' for the night. plans almost screwed by the pouring rain. Batu Ferringhi Beach! didn't know that they had such a nice night market there. bought our "LOVE PENANG" shirts there, with the help of viiter's friend who haggled for me in hokkien to the hawker. went to Hard Rock Penang, but no seats left, alfred, sandra's friend from penang inti was free for the evening so we managed to meet up in Batu Ferringhi. checked out a few beach pubs, (Sunset Bistro seems a nice place! will check it out next time) finally decided on Sixty-9ine Mansion. really cool place with indoor and outdoor areas. the indoor clubbing area had huge disco balls larger than me hanging around, huge chairs, kinda disorienting and crazy. then there's a pool in the middle of it all, connecting to an outdoor area where people can chose to sit IN a shallow pool, chill by the beach, or just a pretty cool VIP-like area with comfy sofas looking over the whole scene. There's a whole curving wall of heineken bottles, crazy lighting, lounge chairs right on the pool, (haha finally kennot tahan i went to google some photos of the place. thanks to this guy who took photos of the place.)

lounge chairs on the pool. we sat behind in the shallow pool area.
that night lots of guys went crazy, started diving into the pool again and again.
some german tourists also kept having diving challenges. funny to see them goading their friends to be 'macho' hahah..
birthday girl! (with katrina)
plan succeed! cream in the face haha.
clockwise from left: sandra, me, shaarmen, alfred(thanks for the cake!), and floee. 
we enjoyed the night, chilling in the water. haha. but people with rheumatism shouldn't sit in that area. the table behind us got drunk i think and a girl kept pushing all of her friends into the water, splashing those surrounding them (namely, us) enthusiastically. advisable to bring towels and change of outfit if anyone wanna hang out there. that's what those 'divers' did. they came all equipped with gear to change and shower. semangat! 

slept real late. woke up reasonably early. managed to get my favourite apom pancake at the coffeeshop! :D we also advertised our 'touristy' status by wearing our penang shirts..kinda regretted the decision. you can practically see money signs light up in those hawker's eyes.
 last meal in penang. 

GUESS WHAT. spotted angela and yi ran in the crowd. WE FORGOT THAT THEY'RE FROM PENANG. and there we go, 4 people out of town bumbling around going lost eating random food. AAAGH. and they're from bukit mertajam!! which is exactly where we wanted to go for duck noodles and stuff recommended by andrew but no one knew how to go and the timing wasn't right etc. dangg. and yi ran has a kickass camera too. so this is the only decent photo of the trip haha. will dig u guys out, if there's a next time :) 

so that concludes our messy impromptu road trip up north last october. hehe. it was the fourth time i went there for this year, and all i can say is, its a different experience with different people. 
the first time with ex-bandmates, we had herng to bring us around and mostly we did sight-seeing. 
the second and third time is to basically visit sis-in-law's family, and ALL WE DID WAS EAT. YUMS. 
and now with uni mates? shopping, clubbing, syok-sendiri-ing. 

different, indeed. but nice in their own ways. 

p/s: finished a paper today! better than i expected, not enough time to write tho. realised that journalism is not for me. not as a major, at least. 
WISH ME LUCK FOR LAW LATER. can't believe how all you law students do it. law annoys me.