Sep 5, 2011

Just sharing :)


原来保持单身有这么多含义
(update: i translated this, so apologies in advance if the translation is a bit off.)
It is a huge misstatement to say that those that remain single are uninteresting. Also, don’t say that remaining single in university is a huge shame. To quote:
“In uni, if you remain single, you will regret those 4 years. But if you enter in a relationship, you will regret your whole lifetime.”
During the student days, one will be surrounded by peers, so most of your values will be more or less the same, with everyone looking forward to a nice career in the future, a nice partner.. etc.
Because you will have the same values, it will be easier to communicate and for many couples, enter a relationship easily. As to whether relationships in uni will affect your studies, it depends. Some for the better, some for the worse.
However, after graduation, usually both will have to be separated for long periods. Although many promises are made before the separation, but chances to meet will decrease. When you are facing the pressures of your career, having a relationship to handle on the sidelines might be a burden and prevent you from performing your best. What if you fall into a career glut, the one who gives you support, stays by your side and helps you out might give you second thoughts about who is ‘the one’ in your life. Then you might have lost a very good friend in your life by hurting the previous person whom you made promises to.
So, if there is someone that really wants to start a relationship with you, chances are that he is looking at short term benefits(the happiness of being together, not really planning for the future), and didn’t really put his sights in the future. It is the truth that being in a relationship needs money, and pocket money comes from parents’ hard earned money. When you don’t have the ability to earn for yourself and don’t have a steady career, who gives you the right to spend money in that way? From a certain point, your parents are being in a relationship for you, since you didn’t even use your own means to strive for your other half.
An ‘other half’ is not one that can be found easily. Because before you get to know and understand that person completely, the other person can change his/herself temporarily just to attract you. I know this sounds kinda bad, but everyone will ‘manage’ his/her image to a certain degree. So after you walk together, and the real person begins to emerge, breaking up will be just down the road.
Thus, a relationship should be after a period of time, and knowing each other completely, and naturally walking together, and sometimes confessing your love might be totally unnecessary.
Don’t think that ‘that is a kind person, so I can trust him/her’. Being nice and kind doesn’t equal love. The future is important too.
Usually, if you meet someone that you like A LOT, then you feel that he/she is interested in you too, most people will straightaway start a relationship.
If you do so rashly, the result might be like the above, and lose someone important. You can wait, and be a friend, and stay in contact, and work hard. When you have a successful career and is ready to take care of her, then go and find her. If she is still waiting for you that means she really is worth it. Girls, if a guy become interested in you very quickly, he can also fall in love with someone else very quickly too.
When love comes slowly, it won’t leave so soon too. Every relationship leaves its mark, its scars, and its memories. Don’t get into one just for the experience.
We don’t need breakups to become mature, right?

Love is not being together with the person that suits you the most. Love is when you meet someone else that suits you even more, you still have the strength to keep the promise to the one you love.
Love is not two pairs of eyes meeting each other, But two pairs of eyes looking in the same direction to the future.
All those stories of ‘if I love you, I can do this for you’ circulating on the Internet seems to be really touching, because most people don’t experience this kind of love. But that is fiction. Love is not a trend, you have to be able to stand still, and have the strength to make the choice to remain single until someone you truly love appears. Don’t search for some cheap alternatives. When ‘the one’ appears, you won’t even glance at those so called ‘love stories’ anymore.

Guys, think carefully before you start a relationship, don’t have that kind of ‘if we aren’t suitable then break up lo’ attitude. A girlfriend is a future wife, not someone you can toy with. After you chose to begin a relationship, be responsible. Be responsible for your parents’ son, your wife’s husband, and your future kids’ dad.
Being single has no cons. You can still care about people you care about freely, and others will get the perception that you’re a good friend. However, if you are already in a relationship, caring for others might invoke jealousy; people might feel that you are not faithful too. Thus remaining single for now doesn’t mean that you are not interested, but that you are patient enough to wait for the one in your future.
A fine person that remained single proved that this person is truly excellent. No matter how perfect someone seemed to be, yet drifts in and out of relationships, just proves that his/her excellence is just on the surface.
I don’t know the truth of this status, but I really liked it: ‘don’t envy others who are in a relationship while you are single, that just means that God is being busy writing your love story’
Hehe. I believe that God will prepare, so just pray, and wait J

A few sentences that i really liked:
  • 爱情不是和一个最适合自己的人在一起,而是遇到一个更适​合自己的人时,能够坚守自己对所爱的人作出的承诺..
  • 一个优秀的人单身说明这人足够优秀,一个再优秀的人随意​恋爱说明这人的优秀只是表面而已,真正希望对方好的,就​是默默在背后关心对方。最好的承诺,不是爱你一万年,而​是根本不需要承诺..
  • 爱情不是两个人眼睛对视,而是两个人的眼光看着同一个方​向..
  • 单身,并不意味着你不懂爱情,事实上,单身比陷入一段错​误的爱明智得多..
  • 在你的理想恋人未出现时,你要有毅力选择一直单身,而​不是找个替代品..
  • 爱情晚点来,就不会走得太早.. 我们并不需要靠失恋来成熟​..

read this article from a facebook link. usually i would ignore these stuff but i'm glad i did click on this one today. it put a lot of my thoughts into words.

lately i've been thinking quite a lot about this. friends who hurt their family and friends by making the wrong decisions, friends who keep asking me why i'm not in a relationship yet, friends who hurt themselves badly yet chose to stay in the vicious cycle.....

i love you guys, and i love myself too. right now, there isn't anyone that's suitable for me, and i don't think i need someone else at this period in my life. there're a lot more things that i need to do, and i don't have the commitment for that. thanks for your concern over my relationship status, but i promise you guys that i will let you all know when i'm in one hehe.






first day, so far so good. almost fell asleep in class. lecturer stop cracking incredibly lame jokes that exceed the one before it. i shall go to bed before 10pm today. goodnight everyone :)

3 comments:

  1. Hey, you should translate this into English. It will be a good piece of work and easier for me to understand :P

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  2. you understand chinese?? i mean, you can read?

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  3. I took Mandarin till SPM one la :D Don't play play.

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